The Goodbye
February 18, 1990 (Sunday)
Once a week — every Sunday before church, Elder Benjamin and I did the required companion inventory. This is when we went over our investigators and planned discussions, discussed our own issues, and planned out the week. Part of this included Elder Benjamin telling me repeatedly how much of a great companion I was.
As for investigators, we had three at the top of our list. In-jae was our newest one. Just the day before, he had told us he wanted to get baptized as soon as he left the hospital. Of all our investigators, he was our golden one. All we would have to do would be to continue meeting him once a week, go through the discussions, and then he’d be ready. Since he had nowhere to go, we could go in at any time.
Ho-sung, the rich inactive member, was still meeting us and feeding us, but always impromptu, and always on his schedule. He still wasn’t coming to church, so how could we move him along? He had said he wanted to take us somewhere nice this next week, but when — we had no idea. Hopefully our schedule would be open at the time. His fiancé had met with the sisters once, so it was worth keeping Ho-sung in our sights.
Bo-yeon, the college student, still met with us about once a week, but still no commitment. He enjoyed talking with us, but he was still too busy to worry about baptism. Concentrating on his studies was much more important. Today was his last day before leaving to America to attend a study-abroad opportunity. So, we would have one last-ditch effort today to try to get a baptismal commitment. Plant the seed, so that he would continue to see missionaries over there.
Somewhere in there, I said, “No matter what happens, we know he’s not going to be baptized today. The zone leaders aren’t going to be happy that we missed this opportunity before he left.”
And then Elder Benjamin reminded me, “What the zone leaders want isn’t important. Today we concentrate on saving Bo-yeon’s soul. It’s up to him as to when he’ll get baptized, so it doesn’t matter who gets the credit. All that matters is Bo-yeon’s own future.”
After making our weekly plans, we joined the other two elders and we went to 10AM church. First came Sunday School, and Bo-yeon wasn’t there. It was a shame, as they were covering the Plan of Salvation, which fit perfectly with the 4th Discussion we were planning to give later that day — if he showed up.
At around 11AM, our priesthood meeting began, and Bo-yeon arrived at 11:15. He found us and sat next to us. “Hey, Elders. Sorry I’m late. Had a lot of packing to finish up. What did I miss?”
“Nothing much,” said Elder Benjamin. “Let’s enjoy our last day together.”
Sacrament meeting started a little before noon, and at 1PM, church was all over. While Elders Johnston and Riley went home for lunch, we stayed at the church to socialize with Bo-yeon. We went down to the ping-pong room one last time, and he taught us a couple more moves, and yes, as usual, he schooled us two different ways.
“I’m going to miss you,” I said after playing.
And Bo-yeon replied, “Yes. We’re friends for life. I’ll always remember you guys.”
At 2PM, the other elders came back switched with us. While Elder Benjamin and I went home for lunch, Elders Johnston and Riley had wanted one last chance to interview him and perhaps get a baptismal commitment. I wished them luck, already knowing what the outcome was going to be. Though, Elder Benjamin reminded me, “You need to have more faith. Maybe the others will say something just the right way and get him to commit. It doesn’t matter who gets the credit.”
When we got back to the church at 3PM, Elder Johnston reported quickly that it was a good discussion, but no commitment. I flashed a smile at Elder Benjamin as if to say, “I told you so,” and he responded with a more optimistic smile.
The other two elders left to do missionary activities elsewhere, and then it was our turn with Bo-yeon. The 4th Discussion, which would also be our last discussion. We found a room, closed the door and sat at a table.
Elder Benjamin said, “Bo-yeon, it looks like this is it. Are you ready for America?”
“You know it,” he said, his face full of excitement. “Tomorrow, I’ll be on my way.”
“You’ll enjoy San Francisco. It’s a beautiful place, but very busy and different.”
“I can’t wait!”
We proceeded to teach the 4th Discussion covering the spiritual world, our mortal existence, the three degrees of exaltation, chastity, and the Word of Wisdom. For many, this was a favorite of all our discussions, as it covered the fact that we are the angels in heaven, and how we will all be resurrected at the end. Though, most investigators expressed surprise toward the end of the discussion about what they wouldn’t be allowed to consume anymore.
When we got to that part, Bo-yeon said, “I understand not smoking. I hate the stuff. But no tea and coffee? Really? Coffee keeps me going for school. And everyone drinks tea here.”
“Yes,” I said. “But it’s only black tea that’s forbidden. We can still drink all the other teas.” Elder Benjamin pulled out a graphic showing black tea in the forbidden column, and several other teas: lemon, peanut, and other selected herbal teas in the OK column. I said, “And yes, many drink black tea. It’s also that way in the South, where I come from. But the promises of health and energy are sure. I think you’ll find that you will end up having an advantage over those who don’t follow the Word of Wisdom. It could help you concentrate more in school.”
“And don’t forget all these other foods you’re encouraged to eat,” said Elder Benjamin as he showed his graphic on good foods, including several fruits, vegetables, and meats. “This is the source of our health, and what keeps us going.”
“Okay. I’m willing to try it out. It’s a little strange, but I think I can cut off the black tea and coffee.”
“And one more thing,” said Elder Benjamin. “You’re going to be busy in the US, and we’re not going to be there for you. It’s going to be very hard to remember what we’ve taught you, and you’ll be tempted to believe that none of this important.”
“But it is important,” said Bo-yeon. “I’ve enjoyed our weekly meetings and your friendship. I’ll never forget any of this.”
Elder Benjamin replied, “There is one way to ensure that you can finish what you started. There are two more discussions left, and then comes baptism. If you would simply set a date for baptism now, then you’ll have the resolve that you’ll need to see it all through. Find the missionaries in America, and finish things up.”
“We’ll have to see. It’s going to be tough enough speaking and listening to English the whole time. And I have a full schedule. I’ll do what I can.”
“Oh,” said Elder Benjamin. “I feel impressed to tell you … did we ever tell the story about how we found you?”
“You said the Spirit led you to me.”
“That’s correct. We had an appointment with someone in your apartment. It was a trap, and we were surrounded by all these religious scholars from your school. And we fought with them until the Spirit told us it was time to leave. Someone else needed our help. We were already tired when we had left that apartment, and we wanted to go home, but the Spirit told us that you needed our help. So, we pushed on until we found you.”
“Wow. Is that so?”
“Yes,” said Elder Benjamin. “That’s why I believe it’s important for you to finish what you started. It’s a journey, but it’s worth it. We weren’t just helping you in the short term, but showing a whole new life where you can enjoy eternal happiness. Teaching a man to fish, and changing their life for good. So, what do you think? Four weeks? Do you think you could get baptized in March?”
Bo-yeon paused and said, “I just can’t do that right now. Too much going on. I can’t commit to anything until I have more information. Don’t worry about me. You’ve already saved my life and have given me purpose. I’ll be okay. And when I’m ready, I’ll get baptized.”
We wrapped up the discussion and then it was time to part ways. We stood outside of the church building as the orange sun hang low in the sky. Bo-yeon said to us, “Thank you for everything. I will always remember you and the fun times we had together. Hiking on Christmas, our English lessons, the ping pong, and our fun discussions. It was all worth it.”
“Do well,” I said. “Show those Americans what you’re made of.”
“And stay strong,” said Elder Benjamin. “You’ll have a great time.”
“I know,” said Bo-yeon. “Someday we’ll meet again.” And then he walked off.
We waved as we walked the other way back to our apartment.
“The zone leaders will give us heck,” said Elder Benjamin, “but I feel that things are going to work out for him. We’ve done our part. You heard what he said. We saved his life, and now the Spirit resides with him. Eventually he’ll get there. He’ll make the right decisions.”
