Missionaries and Guns Don't Mix

I'm sure you've heard the stories. A couple of missionaries go knocking on some doors, and before you know it, some crazy dude is shooting buckshot at them. "Get off my property!!!"

I served my mission in South Korea from 1988 to 1990, and not even once did this happen to me. Two whole years, and the most that happened was some dude on the bus who yelled in my face. "Yahnkee go home!"

If you don't want to talk to us missionaries, I've seen the following responses, all of which are very effective:

• Don't open the door (the most common response).
• Slam the door in their face (second most common response).
• Call the police because they're soliciting and there's a sign at the front of the community.
• Invite them in for a good old Bible bashing session and explain why Mormonism is wrong.
• Just plain yell at them until they leave.
• Make up some white lie: "I'm Buddhist" or "I'm Catholic" and kindly shut the door.
• Pretend like you don't speak their language.

Never once did anyone threaten our lives in any way shape or form. That is, until this past Sunday when my peaceful streak came to an end.

Occasionally, our missionaries will invite church members to tag along. So, I went out with them for a night of door-knocking fun. Reliving the good old days!

We arrived at our last house at about 8:50 PM. Right off the bat, something seemed off with the house. There was trash on the front porch. Strange things were hanging everywhere. Even before the door opened, we joked that we had just found Voldemort's house.

We knocked on the door, and no one answered. After a minute, we knocked again a little louder. The door opened and this dude with a big white beard stepped into the space between the house door and the screen door. He said in an antagonistic voice, "What's the problem?"

One of the Elders (that's what we call the missionaries) said, "There's no problem. We're from the church ..."

Right when he said "church," we all heard it ... the racking of a shotgun. Yikes! The two missionaries even saw the gun. The wife held it behind the door. It wasn't pointed at us, but the threat felt real. The homeowners' attempt to intimidate was successful. After some talking down and retreating, we were shortly back in our car and done for the night.

And let me tell you ... never having had any incidents with a gun in my life, it was a very scary experience. There's the whole, "Wow! I could have died!" Then there was a little PTSD for about a week afterwards. And there's also the "boy do I have a story to tell you" aspect. (Though I've found that people grow tired of hearing this story over and over.)

I can understand why the wife grabbed the gun. It was moderately late at night. Strangers were standing on her front porch. It would have been a prudent choice to have the gun ready to be used.

But as soon as they learned that we were harmless missionaries, why did they have to rack the gun? I can't find the justification. In North Carolina, it's against the law to threaten anyone with a gun if you don't feel that your own life is in danger. That is, pulling out your gun and chasing off a salesman or missionary is basically against the law ... even on your own property.

Yet, these homeowners stayed within the bounds of the law. Had they pointed the gun directly at us, or if they had verbally threatened something like, "Get off our property or we're going to shoot you," then they would have been spending a night in jail. Evidently, just racking the shotgun isn't enough by itself to determine assault.

Though, it certainly felt like assault. All three of us felt our lives were in danger.

Racking the gun wasn't protecting their property. That was just plain being mean. At the beginning of this post, I mentioned several different peaceful alternatives. In fact, we were getting ready to leave before they opened their door. 

Missionaries don't go around killing people who reject their message. They aren't a physical threat. They just want to talk. Sure, they can be intrusive and show up at the most inconvenient times, but do missionaries do anything at all that's worthy of being threatened by a gun?

I can't think of anything.