What is Scrupulosity?

I'm a perfectionist, which can both be a blessing and a curse. Scrupulosity is a type of perfectionism that can hinder one's spiritualism. And this topic can span several different posts -- I may come back to this several times.

Today will be just an introduction. Scrupulosity comes down to this:

Jesus says "Be ye therefore perfect," but I'm not perfect.

Such a contradiction! And I believe that ultimately, it's the number one reason behind why many people leave religion. It's a paradox that religions are supposed to help us become better people, but in pursuing these goals, we realize how imperfect we are and see how impossible it is.

It reminds me of a recurring dream I used to have where I've died and gone to heaven. In this heaven, we are allowed to do anything we want, but if we break any of the rules ... even one of them, then we get kicked out. And there are so many rules. As a result, I find it impossible to enjoy this heaven, as I'm not entirely sure what all the rules are, and I know I'm not going to last long -- and every day I see friends falling. So, it becomes like its own hell.

When I was young I was taught the Plan of Salvation, where there are three main outcomes in heaven: the Telestial (bottom), the Terrestrial (middle), and the Celestial (highest) Kingdoms. And for years, I told myself, "I'm not perfect, so I'll shoot for the Terrestrial Kingdom." I said as much in my Sunday School class as a teenager, and my teacher, Bro. Daughtery, stopped the lesson right there and asked me why I wasn't shooting for the Celestial Kingdom.

I answered, "Because it's impossible. Only perfect people go there. I already know I'm not going to make it."

And he basically changed my life. I can't remember exactly what his arguments were, but he helped me to realize that it's never too late for any of us. We can try and shoot for the top. We can strive for perfection even though we can't achieve it in this life. And most importantly ... a lot of people who are imperfect now are going to make it to the top.

My church gets a lot of flack for apparently having too many rules, checklists, and duties. Many members feel stress from trying to keep up and having to do everything, and some leave, feeling that it's much better not to have the stress at all.

I also hate rules and checklists ... especially the checklists ... but I've come to realize that most of this is self-imposed. And when our leaders give us these rules and checklists -- listen carefully -- they're not saying that they are minimum requirements for entering heaven, but rather they are tips and guidelines to help us in our journey to achieve perfection.

And that's what scrupulosity is. It is when we, ourselves, through our own perfectionism, submit ourselves to unattainable goals, and when we fail we suffer undue stress. At the time it feels like it's the Church doing it to us, but for myself, after further analysis, I realize that it is I doing to myself.

I wish I could speak more, but I must force myself to keep the time short. We'll come back to this later. In the meantime, feel free to share your own thoughts about perfectionism, rules, scrupulosity, and so on. How do you cope?