Self Reliance Principle #4: Obedience

The fourth principle of self-reliance is repentance and obedience. The manual first asks how these two concepts are connected to self-reliance. I'll first analyze the religious side of this question, and then come back around showing how it relates to temporal matters -- again this whole thing about temporal and spiritual being the same.

We are all familiar with commandments: the ten commandment such as don't kill, don't steal, don't cheat, etc. There are other commandments sprinkled throughout the scriptures, such as paying tithing, being nice to your neighbors, and so on. We Mormons have additional commandments such as don't smoke, don't drink alcohol, and so on.

Outside of church, we also have laws of the land which must be followed: pay your taxes, don't let your grass grow too tall, don't make loud noises at night, etc. Everywhere a sign!

What good are all of these commandments and laws? When we ignore or "break" a commandment, this is usually concurrent with committing a sin, which will then require repentance -- some kind of restitution and remorse, and then returning back to following the commandment. Breaking a civil law can further lead to fines, jail time, or other punishments.

I've had several people tell me, "I could never be a Mormon--there are too many rules." But I'll let you in on a little secret.

You don't have to follow a single commandment or law!

When it comes down to it, having to follow all these rules is 100% optional. This is otherwise known as free will, or in other words, the freedom to do whatever you want to do. Commandments and laws do not take this freedom away from you.

However, the consequences are mandatory. Sure, you're free to kill your neighbor, but then you would be punished--thrown into jail or even a more severe punishment. Many commandments are like this--breaking them leads to punitive consequences.

On the other hand, most commandments also have positive rewards when followed, such as being nice to your neighbors, which usually results in reciprocal niceness landing on you.

Commandments and laws exist to help us enjoy life to its maximal potential. A series of simple rules helps us to avoid pitfalls and to work well with others. Not smoking can help me not die of lung cancer (and living longer allows me to enjoy more of life). Not drinking may help me not get involved in a driving accident (and staying out of jail gives me more freedom in the long run).

Thus, following these rules, which looks like limiting freedoms in the short run, actually ends up providing much more freedom and choices in the long run. So far, in the first 49 years of my life, I feel that following the "Mormon" rules has overall helped me to live a full and rich life that has provided me with many different opportunities to choose from.

Before continuing, I'll share what I often call my favorite scripture. Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21.

There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

I also call this the "no-duh" scripture. You reap what you sow. Every action has its consequences.

The lesson manual then asks us to do this strange exercise, which sounds backwards at first. It says to write down three blessings you want to receive, and then write down the corresponding laws or principles to obey. I've always thought that it's best to just follow the rules and commandments, and then let the blessings follow from your choices. After all, are we really supposed to be doing good deeds just to get personal blessings? Isn't that selfish? (Look for a bonus funny clip on this topic at the bottom.)

But this exercise helps to answer the initial question at the top of this post. It provides an alternative way of looking at how commandments work. If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't really matter what you choose to do.

And that's the key to self-reliance.

If you know what you want, you must first learn how to get there, and then you must follow the appropriate plan to have success. Following the plan is like following a commandment, and the results at the end are the reward.

For example, in my music publishing business, if I want thousands of people to play my music, I have no choice but to exercise persistence and diligence in getting the word out. Well, I do have a choice--I could choose not to advertise, but if I go that route, I know my music will not be played. So, the choice is clear. I could either relax now and enjoy playing video games, or I can spend a little bit of effort now and have the joy of hearing someone else play my music.

Are you willing to do what it takes to get where you want to go?

P. S.: Here is that funny clip I promised earlier. Joey and Phoebe from the TV show Friends have a surprisingly intelligent discussion about there being no true selfless acts. After doing a good deed, the simple good feeling of doing something good makes us selfish creatures. Yet, Phoebe tries to prove she can do a truly selfless act. (Warning: mild language)

Self Reliance Principle #3: Managing Money

The third principle of self-reliance is managing money -- this time focusing on temporal skills rather than the spiritual. But don't forget as discussed in principle #1, temporal matters are also spiritual matters. For example, D&C 104:78 says: "And again, verily I say unto you, concerning your debts--behold it is my will that you should pay all your debts."

I like to think that I've always done well managing money. In fact, my work colleagues will often laugh at my desire to eat cheaper lunches. They'll say, "Surely you can afford to pay $15 for lunch." And sure, I could, but I'd rather spend that money elsewhere and not waste it away on just an hour of my enjoyment. When you budget, you can plan how much money goes to which categories. You can plan a big trip with the family, or build up an emergency fund. Currently, we're working toward replacing some furniture.

However, most of the US appears to have a big debt crisis. Here's a good read:

Americans are dying with an average of $62,000 of debt. (CBS News 3/22/2017)

As we pile up on debt, interesting things happen. Choices become limited to us--that is fewer entities will provide further credit. Emergencies can devastate us financially with no hope of recovery. Less money will go to our children when we die--creditors get their money first until assets run out. And when creditors lose money, they become less willing to lend money to others, which results in higher interest rates, and so on.

Robert D. Hales said, "There seems to be a sense of entitlement in today's culture. ... When we become burdened with excessive debt, we have placed ourselves in self-imposed servitude, spending all of our time, all of our energy, and all of our means in the repayment of debts. ... It is essential that we ... develop a spending and savings plan--a budget--and distinguish between wants and needs."

I have learned the virtues of waiting for the "wants," leaving open possibilities and having more financial freedoms in the long run. And I've witnessed what happens when people get the "wants" first and end up dodging creditors and experiencing the feeling of being financially trapped.

So how does one manage money? The lesson manual provides a 4-step process.

Step #1) Work hard and smart to receive money.

I don't know many people who haven't been tempted by get-rich schemes. Even I have have tried a couple. Of course it hardly ever pans out. I wouldn't complain if a million dollars landed in my checking account from some nice philanthropic dude, but on the most part I've earned most of my money the old-fashioned slow-and-steady way.

By the way, do you know what JOB stands for? Just Over Broke. And that's what it often feels like, but at least I can look back and take pride in how I got where I am today. I've been honest in my dealings. I've worked for practically every penny, and I've taken every available opportunity to increase that income. Hopefully it will translate into an early retirement so I can finally spend a lot more time writing music and fiction.

Step #2) Pay the Lord first.

Yeah--I know. I get a lot of flack from atheists/agnostics, and even other religionists about the idea of paying tithing.

Atheists will say, "You're wasting your money. Of course a religious text is going to say 'Pay the Lord first' as that translates into 'give us money.'" That's understandable. Any atheists reading this can skip this part. Though I realize 10% is a big chunk of money (it could fund a family vacation or cover debt and emergency expenses), I still think it does go to a good cause. When I pay tithing, it feels like I'm helping other people.

Other religionists will say, "I prefer the collection plate mentality where you pay whatever you can when it comes around." However, to me this seems to translate into "pay the Lord second." This is understandable when one is struggling just to survive on what little cash they're receiving. I've been there several times.

I don't know how many stories I've heard where people choose to pay their tithing first and the "heavens are opened" and they received unexpected blessings. One time my wife and I had only $25 in our banking account and no job during the summer--very stressful, but we still paid tithing, and we have never run out of money since.

Yet I strongly suspect that when one chooses to pay tithing first, something else happens. That person most likely takes a good look at his financial situation and then makes decisions that allow the tithing to be paid. The decision making itself helps the person get out of financial troubles, and that's what ends up bringing on the "opening of the heavens." I don't think paying the Lord second ends in the same place.

Step #3) Pay ourselves second.

This one makes sense, though sometimes it's very difficult. There have been times for me when this was impossible, but you should always strive to set aside money for a rainy day. Many jobs offer payments into 401k's with nice matches, but keep in mind that you can't touch that money until you retire. You can also put money into a more liquid savings or money market account. It took me decades to build up my emergency fund, and it's served its purpose several times.

If you're able to pull this one off, it could possibly help you to retire early, or even enjoy life more along the way.

Step #4) Spend less than we earn and avoid debt.

This last one should be called the no-duh rule. If you're spending more than you earn, it's unsustainable. You're going to run out of credit, and then comes financial entrapment and being a burden on others. During my college years, I ended up having to do some creative things with debt, but when I started receiving a more steady income, that debt went away very quickly. And yeah ... during those hard times, it was very difficult to splurge on anything, hardly eating out, getting our furniture from discarded items in the neighborhood dumpster, and so on. I remember saving up money to buy a $100 CD player with good sound -- and we were excited about it. Those were the days!

The biggest part of this is maintaining a budget. First spend a month recording all the money you spend, and then analyze where it all goes. Compare the expenses to what you earn, and see where you can make changes. What can you cut out? What needs more attention? How can you save a little for yourself? Can you see a way to get ahead on your debt?

Just a little discipline can change everything, and eventually get yourself on top of it all. It could take a few years to get there, but it's well worth it. The old-fashioned slow-and-steady way works more than any other failed get-rich-quick schemes.

Finally, to reiterate what I said in Principle #1: I don't know how many times I've heard these concepts discussed in LDS lessons, firesides, and seminars. In particular, I've heard Marvin J. Ashton's "One For the Money" lesson taught several times. (I highly recommend reading his 12-point plan for improving finances.)

With this in mind, it's no surprise to me that many Mormons end up being successful in life. It's engrained in our way of thinking. But yet, many of us still struggle, and there's always room for improvement.

Self Reliance Principle #2: Faith

Continuing with the 12-week seminar on Self Reliance: "Starting and Growing My Business," today I will touch on the second principle of self reliance, which is exercising faith in Jesus Christ.

I'll start off with this big question: how in the world can having faith in Christ help us to be self reliant? How can a spiritual idea like this help us succeed in business?

In my profession, I run into several atheists who have achieved self reliance and are successful in what they do. Thus it seems logical to conclude that faith in Christ is not a prerequisite to success. I'll come back to this a little later, but for now I'll give this quick answer. My atheist friends all have one thing in common. Though they may not have faith in Christ, they have faith in something. You can think about this while I continue on...

The self-reliance lesson manual analyzes a not-so-well-known story from the Old Testament. In Joshua 3, the Israelites are almost at the promised land, but they must first cross the River Jordan. The Lord tells them that when the bearers of the ark step into the water, the waters will part and the whole group can pass on dry ground.

The important thing here is that the ark bearers must first get their feet wet before the miracle happens. They must have faith and do their part first.

And that's how life works. Nobody accomplishes any task unless they first have faith that they may succeed. In the secular world, this is known as taking risks.

For example, I still have no idea if my music publishing business is going to succeed. I can't see the future, but I certainly want it to succeed, even though I can see a worst case scenario. If I sell nothing, then all I have a really expensive paperweight. (I suppose I could start opening it up for personal use and my kids' homework would look pretty awesome.) Yet, I took a chance and shelled out the big bucks before knowing for sure beforehand what the outcome would be.

Then again, there's only one certainty. If you don't try, you'll definitely not succeed.

So, look at everyone out there you know who has started a business and is making the big bucks. There isn't a single person among those who didn't first have faith in themselves and in the possibility that they may succeed. They saw potential and they took on the risk. They did what had to be done.

In my case, I know I'm good at music. And my day job has given me valuable knowledge on how to run a business. I have high hopes that I can eventually turn my startup into a profitable venture and benefit many people.

Of course, you also have the others who tried and failed. But guess what! They're all smarter people now. They have gained knowledge. Perhaps they can try again, but next time they'll know what not to do.

This all ties back to my first question. My atheist friends don't believe in a religion, but they do believe in themselves and had enough faith to take the initial risks, and as they take on risks, they succeed.

But what does faith in Christ get you? For one thing, having faith in Him also gives us practice in having faith in other things. Also, doctrine and the scriptures give good advice that easily relates to our everyday life.

Richard G. Scott said in 1984, "I bear witness that [the Book of Mormon] can become a personal 'Urim and Thummim' in your life."

A few weeks ago when we were on this lesson, I chose to go a whole week reading one random scripture a night from the Book of Mormon (turning pages randomly and laying my finger down on the page). I was surprised that I could find applications in my music business -- even a couple of scriptures warning me of paths not to go down.

Thus, even though having faith in Christ and his church may not be a prerequisite to success, it can certainly help. My friends joke about how Mormons always seem to be rich or successful. I haven't seen any mathematical studies on the subject, but I would expect that one would find a strong correlation between religious belief and a predisposition for success.