Self Reliance Principle #10: Integrity

The 10th principle of self reliance may be one of the toughest ones to practice: showing integrity. This is most difficult when being tempted to cheat a little or break some small rule when you think you won't get caught or if you think it's not that important.

Examples may include telling a white lie, claiming tax deductions you don't really qualify for, failing to disclose any problems with a product you're selling, keeping change when a cashier gives too much back, driving over the speed limit or even cutting through a parking lot.

I know ... no one's perfect, and going a few miles over the speed limit isn't going to keep anyone from going to heaven, but we could at least try -- at least where it really counts.

Consider the following story as told by Elder Robert C. Gay during the October 2012 General Conference.



I wonder--how many of you readers have told the movie ticket taker that your 12-year-old child was 11, just to get a cheaper ticket? I've done it, myself, multiple times, especially when we were low on cash. As an expert on financial matters, it is very easy for me to rationalize why this would be okay. Are you ready for this?

Why do movie theaters sell children tickets for cheaper? Because of supply/demand concerns, and also as an incentive to bring more families through the doors. If child ticket prices are too expensive, the adult parents, themselves, will decide not to come watch the movie. Providing cheaper tickets for children actually results in more money coming into the theater. 

And when my child just turned 12 years old, she wasn't much different than she was a week prior when she was 11. And we, as a family, were still struggling. Thus the theater would be more than happy to let my child continue to come in cheaper so that they would continue to get revenue from the whole family.

See how easy that was? That's called rationalization, and we all do it every single day. It sounds good and it makes us feel a whole lot better about bending the rules, but when does it ever make it right? And if we're willing to bend a little here and there, where else are we willing to bend?

A couple of decades ago, I used to work at McDonald's, and back then, their training was specific with uniform unbending rules. In particular, I was taught how many pickles were to go on each product. Hamburgers and cheeseburgers get one pickle. Big Macs, double cheeseburgers, and bigger sandwiches get two.

I still eat at McDonald's; I've never outgrown the taste. But I will always check how many pickles I receive. If I get extra pickles, others might say, "Hooray, extra pickles!" But I can't help thinking, "If they're breaking this one rule, what else are they bending? Are they cooking the burgers the full amount? Are they resisting the temptation to drop two baskets of fries at the same time (leading to lower temperatures and undercooked fries)? Are they cleaning their dishes properly and cleaning out the grease on schedule? What about the dining area and the bathrooms?"

The wrong number of pickles signals to me possible reasons to avoid that one particular store, as there are usually plenty of them around to choose from.

And that's a lesson I learned early in life. Sure, I'm not perfect, and I will bend the rules daily, but I also know how damaging it can be when I do get caught. When I fail to do as promised, people will say, "I can't count on Mel." When I drive like a maniac and cut off someone at church, they'll remember it for years. When I pull too many pranks, they'll say, "I can't trust him."

Ultimately, that's why we all need to practice integrity, because it is of utmost importance to gain the trust of people we're dealing with. Especially in business. The more you treat people with respect and fulfill their expectations, the more they return for your services.

Finally, to end on a spiritual note, I'll provide this quote from the late Elder Wirthlin from the April 1990 General Conference.

Integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more importantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. ... A little lying, a little cheating, or taking a little unfair advantage are not acceptable to the Lord. ... The consummate reward of integrity is the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, ... [who will] guide us in all we do.