Love Your Enemies

Last week I mentioned that my church held the most political conference I've ever seen. Our church leaders seem to be very concerned with the level of anger rising in our nation, and they gave us several talks touching on this anger, because they believe that we need to hear it at this particular time.

Today in our Zoom church meeting, we discussed one of these talks entitled, "Love Your Enemies."

For those of you who care to watch the talk, here is the full version. It's originally meant for Mormons in the USA, but the concepts are universally Christian. (Watching the video is not required for continuing to read this post.)

The main scripture comes from Jesus in Matthew 5:43-44:

43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

And we heard this scripture at least three if not more times throughout the whole conference. The solution to the anger plaguing our nation now? Love. Or perhaps in less religious terms: Respect.

The first thing to realize is that it's okay to disagree. The scriptures says contention is of the devil, but disagreement in and of itself is not contention. Rather, contention rises from how people choose to handle those disagreements. Having disagreements just rises naturally from thinking differently and seeing the world through different lenses.

But how exactly does one disagree without "contending"?

I've struggled with that question my entire life, as I am a very opinionated dude. I love a great discussion, especially when there are opposing viewpoints. A good argument may be one of the best ways to exercise the brain and test skills of logic, and so on. And an argument, in the technical sense, has no need of being contentious. The latter only comes when an argument turns into something personal.

So, throughout my life I've sought to participate in engaging arguments, trying to toe the line where we hold respect for each other, and learn things in the end. But more often than not, I'll touch a nerve, or someone will touch one of my nerves, and then anger ensues, and it turns into a nonproductive brawl. 

Once or twice, I've even had someone de-friend me on Facebook -- kind of a drastic measure for just having a conversation. And once I had a bunch of actuaries team up on me in a forum to let me know that I was at a level of stupid that they had ever seen and how I just needed to leave the discussion. (Though in that last case I did have some other actuaries reach out to me in PMs to give me support -- they just didn't want to do it in public.)

So, being argumentative, though lots of fun to me, has its costs. I think that in all cases it went bad, I made mistakes -- it only takes one small one to blow everything up, and then I'm the bad guy. But with every mistake I learn how to handle it better the next time. At least I hope that I have gotten better.

The key? It really is Love and/or Respect. If you have no intention of understanding your opponent's way of thinking, then it's probably best not to even engage in discussion. 

For example, when it comes to Trump vs. Biden, I believe that I understand almost all of the arguments as to why people prefer one over the other. I prefer one candidate, but I also fully understand why people like the other one, and I'm perfectly fine with that. This one is a debate best settled by voting, and not anger, riots, and unproductive contention.

I am also very willing to change my views, as I'm a big proponent of the scientific method (which is showcased in Alma 32). As an opinionated dude, I do indeed have a very strong "null hypothesis" belief system. Locking this puppy down gives me a strong sense of perspective, to which I judge everything I see in the world. But every day I see things that challenge my belief system -- little tiny "alternative hypotheses" that I go and research, and every day I will accept several of them and update my belief system. I think everyone could benefit from this same approach to life and there would be a lot less anger in the world.

If you love/respect your opponents, then you may find that you can have engaging conversations. Even if you don't persuade them to change their views, you can end up learning each other's views and have better perspective. Sometimes it can help you to have a better understanding of why you are "right." Or maybe you can gain a better appreciation for your "enemy."

Either way, it seems that Jesus has laid out the path to avoiding contention. We don't need to remain silent, but we do need to Love, and that is such a simple concept. 

What can you do to love your "enemies"?